Meshmass are proud and honoured to announce that we have been offered the golden opportunity to supply title and continuity music for a new reality television show to be called ‘the uneatables’. The pitch explains that the show will select ‘unattractive individuals of low economic value’ and whilst pretending they have won a competition have them assassinated by rival teams of hit squads in a variety of entertaining ways (examples were given – pushed into an array of whirling knives, boiled in a swimming pool, crushed by huge dolls) and their corpses handed over to television chefs to be carefully prepared according to innovative and mouth-watering recipes and then fed to wild animals. The resultant mangled and slobbery mess will then be judged by a panel of eminent celebrities including Paul Gascoigne, Russell Brand, Alan Shearer, Alan Sugar, Alan Aspartame, Alanis Morrisette, Morrisey, Morris Oxford, Madonna, and Silvio Berlusconi. We have refused. In other news, January has been a rather special month for us – we have worked on the asteroid a good deal, utilising echo-repeat-loop-technology™ on the saxophone – and have produced a selection of rather atypical and sometimes quite beautiful work which we now have to reduce to manageable proportions in order to fit it through the letterboxes of those percipient enough to subscribe.